In honor of my recent birthday, investing in several boxes of aluminum foil, a necessary trip to the eye doctor and having a child turn 18, I was reminded of this Post from the Past from the old blogger site.
Originally posted on Wednesday, January 6, 2010.
So I get this promo card in the mail yesterday advertising a free year’s subscription to MORE Magazine: The magazine for women over 40. How in the heck did they know I was over 40? (I’ve only been over 40 for 6 months; it’s probably another government thing, just like the weather), but anyway, that’s another post… Another thing is in big letters written across the front of this card is, “The Prime of your life…is the time of your life!”. Huh? Prime? Me? Hahahah!! This is when I drop the card, lose control and begin laughing hysterically! Do they mean I’m in my prime season of hot flashes?
Or it must mean that I’m in my prime because I’m now having to pluck hairs from areas on my body where there should be no hair! Or it must mean that for the first time in my life I’m the proud owner of a Remington Facial Hair Trimmer just for women.
Pause…going to clean up the dog’s puke.
I’m back. Or is it this: I’m in my prime because I’ve only gone through 1,182 bras in the last year trying to find one to fit my ever-changing body!?
Pause…Clark is screaming from the back of the house to come there.
Back again. I’d really like to know their meaning of “prime” because I’m definitely thinking their idea and mine are much different.
They’re talking about “hitting the re-start button, and “dreaming big” and “savoring each moment”…while I’m savoring all right, it’s just not the moment. It’s each piece of chocolate I can get my hands on to satisfy my sweet tooth…(which will make my skin break out worse, my mood swings swing harder, and my hips fatter, because you know women my age have lower estrogen levels causing more weight gain!)
Before you know it, I’ll be getting a card in the mail wanting me to subscribe to “Mature Living” and I’ll have grandkids giving me peppermint for Christmas. (You know you have all given your grandparents those soft peppermint sticks for Christmas at some time or another).
But for now, while enjoying being in my “prime” of course, I’m going to finish my cup of coffee, pluck the new hairs I’ve discovered this morning and get this subscription card ready for the mail.