I’m terrible at putting a title to my posts. I’m title illiterate one might say, hence most of the lame titles I end up using. This post is no different. As I ran today several names came and went through my mind: Self Doubt, Moving in Slow Motion, Finally, it’s Wednesday. You see what I’m talking about? I even thought that I could title it The Post With No Name.
Today was a 4 mile day. I thought I was looking forward to running today, but as the magic hour drew closer, I honestly didn’t feel like going. This was one of those times where I had to ‘just do it’ thankful I had a schedule I was committed to to get me on the road. Because today, that commitment is the only reason I went for a run.
It seemed the further I ran, the worse it became. Although my pace was decent…for me that is….it seemed as if I were moving in slow motion.
It felt like it took forever to make the first mile, then the second for which I stopped for about a minute, then stopped again at mile 3. Self doubt had reared it’s ugliness and I stood there thinking “what in the world am I doing?”, “I’m only at 4 miles, how can I possibly run 26?” “Most runners could run an easy 4 miles before their morning coffee has time to brew and here I stand. Again.”
But the longer I stood there, the silence around me grew louder. I stood there alone in the middle of hundreds of acres of cotton with only the sound of my own breathing and the dozens of chirping crickets hidden all around in that cotton.
And for that moment, the title of my post came to me and seemed more important than the self doubt that was there only a few seconds before. Enjoy the Moment.
I was wishing you could hear what I was hearing. I was wishing you could enjoy that moment just like I was enjoying it. And just like that, positive thoughts quickly replaced the negative. I was so glad I was standing there listening to that: listening to nothing.
I also wondered how many of you get that chance to listen to nothing. Do you live in big cities where you’ve possibly never heard a cricket chirping? Are you so busy, you’ve not taken time to get outside and enjoy such stillness? Are you choosing other things? What are you choosing instead?
A quote that I have written on a stickie note on my desk reads, “you win when you go, you lose when you don’t”
Regardless of why I ran today, regardless of what my motivation may have been, regardless of how slow I seemed to have been or how poorly I thought of it, I chose to do it. I chose to not sit on the couch watching tv. I chose to not stay home. I chose to at least try.
And that makes it a win day for me.